The Best Things About Having A Kidney Stone
(in no particular order)
- Visiting the ER on Cinco de Mayo
- Discovering Toradol - for those times when Morphine just doesn't cut it
- Discussing 'favorite stones' with hospital staff
- Having a former gang-banger, and my hospital roommate, call me his 'celly'
- Having my 'celly' give me his extra tracheostomy kit as a gift
- Spending two days either peeing or feeling like I needed to be peeing
- Crossing 'urinating blood' off my bucket list
- Seeing an x-ray of a foot-long stint up my ureter
- Telling the x-ray tech, 'Ureter? I don't even know her!'
- Apologizing to the x-ray tech
- Getting to use the term, Lithotriptastic!
- Peeing through a strainer, looking for remnants of the stone like a turn-of-the-century miner panning for gold
- Spending 3 grand on copays and medication
- Standing at the toilet, strainer in hand, realizing I was literally pissing my money away
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