Making an Impact

Recently I attended a memorial service for a friend. We weren’t really close. In fact, he was more of a best friend of a friend. But that’s all semantics, really. The man - Steve - led an amazing life. Musician, environmentalist, writer, father, lawyer, and more. I didn’t know all he did until after his death, and it turns out he did a lot. And meant a lot. To a whole lot of people.

The memorial was held at the Irish Cultural Center in downtown Phoenix - a beautiful facility that looks as if it was uprooted from the Emerald Isle and flown, brick by brick, to the desert. The main hall where the celebration was held is no small place. I’d been there once before, for a concert. A band from Ireland, of course. They had filled maybe half of the hall. For this memorial the hall was packed. Standing room only with people waiting outside. And wait they did, even though it was a toasty 110 degrees which, even by a Phoenician’s standards, is a tad uncomfortable.

By my count, there were more than 200 people inside, and who knows how many out. Another 20-30 maybe. There were no doubt a good number of people who wanted to attend but couldn’t. Many locals leave town for the weekends in the summer. They head north, or south, or east - anywhere cooler, which is pretty much everywhere. Had the memorial been held in February who knows how many more there would have been.

Later that evening, after the music and poetry and loving tributes, I couldn’t help but think about my own mortality. When I die, will there be a need for an event like this, and if so, how many people would show up? 200? 100? 10?

People don’t generally like to think about their own demise. It’s scary shit, the unknown. But in this case maybe we should. Ask yourself this - if you lived your life trying to get as many people to your memorial as possible, what would you do differently? I’m guessing whatever the answer is, it’s not going to make you a worse person. Probably the opposite.

According to the program, Steve was a big fan of The Dalai Lama. One of his favorite quotes follows, and might explain why 200+ people showed up on a hot, Phoenix-summer day to say goodbye to an old friend.

"I try to treat whoever I meet as an old friend. This gives me a genuine feeling of happiness. It is the practice of compassion."

One final thought - if you are reasonably young and agile and can stand for an hour or two without being severely strained, and you find yourself at an event like this, or any event, and have arrived early enough to get a seat, look around. If you see someone who isn’t as healthy, or young, as you, offer them your seat. Thanks.